Do's and Don'ts When Supporting Bereaved Families

The death of a baby is unlike any other. Though we mean well, sometimes our attempts to comfort a patient in their time of loss causes more heartache. Saying nothing at all can be equally as hurtful.

The following tips are meant to help your words be truly supportive and to alleviate some of the anxiety around "saying the wrong thing" as you care for your patient who has endured the this unimaginable loss.

HURTFUL LANGUAGE

• At least…

• Everything happens for a reason

• Time heals all wounds

• It’s going to be okay

• God has a plan

• You are young, you can have more children

• At least you can get pregnant

• Be thankful you have other children

• Let go, move on

HELPFUL LANGUAGE

• I am so sorry

• I/we will walk through this with you

• This is what is going to happen (describe the process; you will need to repeat yourself)

• I would do anything to take this pain away

• If you would like to talk about how you are feeling, I’m here to listen. (if you aren’t able to talk, bring in someone who can)

AS A PROVIDER

• If you have had your own loss, it can sometimes be helpful to share so that the parents know that you understand.

• It’s okay to cry with the parents, but it’s also important to make sure you are in control of your emotions.

PLEASE DO NOT

• Do not offer cliches

• Do not judge or offer advice

• Do not compare losses